Mulligan

Ok, I hate dieting, I do not like being hungry, I despise restricting what I eat, and I resent logging my food and counting calories or points or polar bears or whatever the hot food-logging marker of the moment is.

I also hate, do not like, despise and resent being fat.

However, I like working out. This still may be doable.

When I lost the weight last time I just ate once a day. I saved all my hungry up for dinner-time and then ate as much as I wanted. At first I could eat a whole pizza and an order of fries every night and the weight was dropping off me like rats off a sinking ship. My only exercise was a 1 mile walk twice a day, plus some situps and pushups and leglifts. As I got smaller I started decreasing my intake and increasing my exercise. I added in small snacks during the day, like little boxes of raisins and chocolate milk every morning. But overall it was pretty unhealthy and I'm probably really lucky that it did not permanently mess up my metabolism. The fact that I became and remained skinny as hell reinforced the behavior and I stuck to that plan for about 7 years. The last few years I had taken up running and on the weekends I ate more than one meal a day; my own form of maintenance, increasing exercise and allowing a higher daily caloric intake. Then some big life changes, decreasing the exercise, eating alot all the time, and all the weight eventually came back. Which is heartbreaking, especially since I kept it off for so long.

I've tried things in the last few years and I can remain whole-heartedly invested in a program (not a diet, a way of life...) for several weeks, but eventually fall off the wagon. I AM SO TIRED OF NOT CONSISTENTLY FOLLOWING THROUGH WITH WEIGHT LOSS. Don't I care about myself? Don't I care about what I want and what is best for my body? Well duh, of course I do, but I don't act like it.

My latest commitment to weight loss lasted about 2 weeks. Then it was back to fast food and only going to the gym twice a week. Which is why I'm calling MULLIGAN! I want a do-over and it starts Monday.

So, what are my strengths and weaknesses regarding weight loss efforts? Clearly consistent follow-through is a weakness. I hate counting or eliminating food groups. I like working out. I like seeing results. I like lots of healthy foods: fruits, vegetables, whole grains.

So here's the new plan: instead of concentrating on limiting foods, focus on incorporating more of the good stuff. Eat more fruits, vegetables and whole grains. Work out: cardio 5 times a week, lift 3 times a week. Re-evaluate after 2 weeks.

Last week I started the week on vacation (stay-cation really), had my last day at my old job Tuesday, started my new job Wednesday. My eating was horrendous but I went to the gym Tuesday and Wednesday, and due to my schedule that meant I was up at 4:45 a.m., at the gym by 5:30 a.m., and then it was time to water the garden, let the dogs out, shower and get ready for work.

For the next two weeks I want to go to the gym every work-day morning in order to get my cardio in. I'm not sure what I'm going to do about the weight-lifting though. I would need to get up even earlier to make sure I had time to lift, but I guess if I want to see results I need to do that.

I'll post daily if I can, for accountability, discussing my successes and failures. We shall see!