I haven't been blogging much lately. Partly because I've been really tired, and partly, I just figured out, because I don't want to blog the negative. And that's bullshit.
When you blog, you choose what to write about and what to keep private, for various reasons. My reasons include respecting the privacy of those in my life, being professional enough not to blog about my job (because I want to keep it!), and not putting out into the electronic media anything I wouldn't be comfortable with if I saw it on a billboard. Not that the billboard thing would actually happen, but that's how public a blog is.
It can also makes sense to present the best "you" possible when you blog. Why publicize your faults and weaknesses? Why show the world your worst when you can show them your best? My answer, newly discovered, is personal growth. And possibly helping others who may be in a similar situation and feel isolated. And possibly receiving help from others who have been there and have advice or support to offer.
I've been avoiding my blog lately because I have not had very much positive to blog about. I'm unmotivated, not only not-losing-weight but gaining weight. I almost skipped my Weight Watchers meeting last week because I didn't want to face the scale, or the person operating it. Even though I've only gained a few pounds, I can feel it in the way my clothes fit, in the way I move, and I can see it in the mirror. It's humiliating and demoralizing. And why do I feel that way about it? For weeks now I have made poor food choices and completely avoided exercising. Why? Am I afraid of success? Is that doughnut (or three doughnuts, let's be honest) really worth the fatigue that will follow the sugar high and the increased number on the scale? I'm not going to beat myself up about it, because negative reinforcement only pisses me off. Even when I'm the one providing negative reinforcement to myself. I'm going to pick myself up, yet again, right this minute. My next food choice will be one that will nourish my body and that I can reflect on with pride. And I will start moving more and sitting less. Seeya tomorrow; I've got some moving my hiney to do and it won't happen with this laptop on my knees.
Have a fab day.