Tuesday, March 23, 2010

Blogging For Personal Growth

I haven't been blogging much lately.  Partly because I've been really tired, and partly, I just figured out, because I don't want to blog the negative.  And that's bullshit.

When you blog, you choose what to write about and what to keep private, for various reasons.  My reasons include respecting the privacy of those in my life, being professional enough not to blog about my job (because I want to keep it!), and not putting out into the electronic media anything I wouldn't be comfortable with if I saw it on a billboard.  Not that the billboard thing would actually happen, but that's how public a blog is.

It can also makes sense to present the best "you" possible when you blog.  Why publicize your faults and weaknesses?  Why show the world your worst when you can show them your best?  My answer, newly discovered, is personal growth.  And possibly helping others who may be in a similar situation and feel isolated.  And possibly receiving help from others who have been there and have advice or support to offer.

I've been avoiding my blog lately because I have not had very much positive to blog about.  I'm unmotivated, not only not-losing-weight but gaining weight.  I almost skipped my Weight Watchers meeting last week because I didn't want to face the scale, or the person operating it.  Even though I've only gained a few pounds, I can feel it in the way my clothes fit, in the way I move, and I can see it in the mirror.  It's humiliating and demoralizing.  And why do I feel that way about it?  For weeks now I have made poor food choices and completely avoided exercising.  Why?  Am I afraid of success?  Is that doughnut (or three doughnuts, let's be honest) really worth the fatigue that will follow the sugar high and the increased number on the scale?  I'm not going to beat myself up about it, because negative reinforcement only pisses me off.  Even when I'm the one providing negative reinforcement to myself.  I'm going to pick myself up, yet again, right this minute.  My next food choice will be one that will nourish my body and that I can reflect on with pride.  And I will start moving more and sitting less.  Seeya tomorrow; I've got some moving my hiney to do and it won't happen with this laptop on my knees.

Have a fab day.


Tricia said...

great job jumping back on the wagon

Agnes said...

You're right, blogging is a tricky thing, as it is both private and public.
I am cheering for you Liz -- you can do it. And you will :-)

JourneyBeyondSurvival said...

Keep muddling through. You're going to get there.

Gina Fit by 41 Maybe 42 said...

You've put into words how I often feel (and have felt the past couple of months). For some miracle, I've pulled through it this past week and a half. Things are good.

Not to sound pessimistic, but I understand there will probably be another low/negative time. However, I know that will pass, and again, I will move forward. You will, too.

It's that initial move that's the hardest for me. I tell myself to just turn on some music and dance, or walk for 5 minutes. That helps kick-start my motivation to do other good things for myself.

Time to get this computer off my lap, too. :)

Cammy said...

Glad you're seeing things in a more positive light!

Sharing our struggles (even at a not too personal high level) often serves as a common denominator for readers. None of us is perfect, and it's always so rewarding to see when (and how) someone steers herself back to center. Like you just did. :)

Kelly said...

Not like you couldn't tell this from my blog, but I think it's important to blog about faults (that you don't mind the world knowing about). It makes you more of a person and it does help others who are having similar struggles. The fact of the matter is, everyone has off weeks, or months when it comes to being healthy. I don't think there is anyone who finds being healthy to be easy all the time.
Good luck getting back into it!

Anonymous Fat Girl said...

You're getting there, you're doing it. Just blogging about this is helping you. I'm glad you're sticking around and still trying. I always look for your blog to read. We've all had downs too, so you're not alone. YOU CAN DO THIS! :)

Corletta said...

Listen ma'am...this was the best post that I have read thus far! I like that you were honest and making no excuses for the weight gain! You can do this. I plan to "watch" and encourage you EVERY step of the way. You post...I will read!

liz said...

thanks for each one of your comments, i appreciate it!

Gina Fit by 41 Maybe 42 said...

Just checking in with you... we're hear rooting for you.

Happy Easter/Spring!

liz said...

thanks, gina. i'm coming back :)